Jokes – freshness guaranteed

August 9, 2011

Double dip of 2011 and rise of new economic theory

Filed under: Indian politics and economy — pramath @ 5:16 AM

… called buffalonomics.

The markets are crashing – and crashing. It looks like the industrial world is going to eat itself out.

A day may come when only those who can grow food can eat.

Unfortunately, it is illegal in India for a non-farmer like me to buy farm land. [This is a genius way of keeping caste system alive. That is a different story.]

For millions like me the picture is pretty bleak.

  • We pay for power, farmers don’t
  • We pay income tax, farmers don’t
  • Fertilizers are subsidized but continuous learning (or my MBA fees) is not
  • We don’t have spread vote banks like villages. A metro has most a dozen seats in Lok Sabha
  • Ever since the Father of the nation sided farmers, it is a sin to talk against farmers
  • Industrial workers like me are viewed as “by-products of industrial revolution, which by the way brought great woes to our prosperous past”
  • We are educated, farmers don’t need to be
  • If the life becomes unsustainable, a farmer gets subsidized pesticide to consume. We don’t get it subsidized

Still, all is not lost. Buffaloes are here! (American friends call them “water buffaloes”.)

My wife and I have decided to buy buffaloes – that too Jafferabadi ones! Here are the recession proof reasons

  • Our area allows pets – and any non-human can be a pet
  • A Jafferabadi buffalo can fight back a lion – my security problem is solved
  • A Jafferabadi buffalo gives a LOT of milk, way more than my family needs – my food inflation worries are over
  • A buffalo also means a lot of dung – and bio-gas – with the Robin Hood like government making LPG expensive every day for me so that a father of eight can have it cheaper – my energy bill will be down
  • A Jafferabadi buffalo is a loving, big and strong – almost elephant like – animal. With petrol prices touching sky, my buffalo will be a decent short distance transport for my commute (provided I have a job for longer)
  • … and with sluggish, lousy and unsafe railways to transport me around, a buffalo can take my family to home town and back – faster, safer and cleaner
  • My stock holdings don’t split these days. A buffalo breeds every year! Man, after 1999, when did you get a 1 to 2 split?

Buffalo rocks!

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