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September 10, 2013

Bangalore school fires career counselor for suggesting rape as career alternative

Filed under: Uncategorized — pramath @ 10:09 AM

In a bizarre incidence, a Bangalore school has fired its career counselor for suggesting raping as a career alternative to a student. The school has requested to remain unnamed.

“I am at loss of words” told the exasperated principal while the counselor has decided to challenge the decision in local labor court.

“You have to understand the problem. The 13 year boy I advised was a relocated NRI who couldn’t stand the rigor of Indian curriculum. The father was denied green card after staying 12 years in the US on H1-B and green card related extensions of the visa. The boy had no options but to find some way to earn his bread when he is an adult. Even his family was in one of those “left-out” sections by the wide-reaching food bill.” The counselor explained to our reporter.

After flunking sixth standard thrice in succession, the ace basketball player boy had no hopes of making it through any engineering college, which is believed to be the only way of survival for upcoming generation. Trying to earn one’s living as a sportsman in India in any sport other than cricket has remained a wild goose’ chase.

The 6’2″ tall well-endowed boy when contacted by our (male and straight) reporters, was also confused. “I don’t know why they should fire the good old counselor.” He replied in Californian accents and clueless looks in his eyes. “She was right in pointing out that once you commit a rape as a juvenile, you are guaranteed three years of food, focus and fulfillment in the jail. They may even start serving biryanis too! These days I have started cultivating liking for spicy Indian food. She even suggested me to commit 10-12 rapes in succession to assure a career-long comfortable stay in the jail.”

The counselor says she did what she was assigned. “I did my job professionally. Like any other science, counseling is amoral. My advice is in the best interest of my client. I did advise him sequential raping but cautioned against taking blue pills that cut male refractory period. He is a juvenile. It was indeed a challenging assignment. This is the best we can suggest to a mediocre juvenile! From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs!”

“Looking at the rate at which socialistic laws are cleared by Lok Sabha, by the time he finishes his terms for a dozen rapes, he may even qualify for a pension from the government also. If government employees can be given pensions after raping the society and the economy, why leave poor juveniles behind?” Asked a prominent human rights activists, assuring every criminal has undeniable human rights. The activist refused to comment about human rights of victims because it wasn’t the area of expertise for her (or anybody else).

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