Jokes – freshness guaranteed

December 21, 2013

My cousin’s husband

Filed under: All in the Family,Marital Bliss — pramath @ 10:38 AM

On 25th anniversary of his marriage with my famous entomologist and no-comparison cook cousin, top toxicologists of the world wanted to study his body.

The couple proudly agreed.

They found more Digenes(R) than genes in his body.

September 6, 2013

Missing in marriage

Filed under: All in the Family,Marital Bliss — pramath @ 10:28 AM

Men miss their pulse before marriage.

Men miss their purse after marriage.

July 25, 2013

I would call that nightmare a dream!!

Filed under: All in the Family,Marital Bliss — pramath @ 6:58 AM

My wife describing a nightmare she had last night.

“Oh dear! I was so afraid!

Three armed robbers had attacked our house and had threatened to burn down our house if we don’t give them all we have.

Will you believe how much they took away? Two trailers full of gold and silver items, some of them even VERY artistic, probably antic. They even took originals of Ravi Verman – half a dozen of them.

Then all I remember is I telling them in a stern voice that kids were about to come home and I needed to go shopping – and asked them to lock the house properly when they are gone.

Then I remember driving on the road and realizing I could as well call the police. Alas! Somehow those robbers got the whiff and started hiding things.

Then I remember the police following these trailers in their chasers and I driving behind the police too.

The worst part is, in the first try, the police could recover only 80%.

Can you believe that officer had guts to assure me that he would recover 100%! What a nightmare!”

I would call that nightmare a dream!

December 31, 2012

Unit of a wife’s performance

Filed under: All in the Family,Marital Bliss — pramath @ 7:35 AM

Unit of measuring a wife’s performance is “Nags per second”. For example,

A: “My wife is around 3 nags per second.”

B: “Wow! That is quite a wife! My wife is hardly 0.5 nags per second.”

November 5, 2012

About being bald, six-pack, handsome and intelligent

Filed under: All in the Family,Marital Bliss — pramath @ 9:21 AM

Recently someone introduced me as “bald, six-pack, handsome and intelligent”.

I thanked the person for calling me “bald” and “six-pack”. Then added more thanks for calling me “handsome” and “intelligent”.

Ever since I got married, my wife never called me “handsome” – and I never called myself “intelligent” 😉

February 17, 2012

Schrodinger’s cat

Filed under: All in the Family,Marital Bliss — pramath @ 5:33 PM

… is never in uncertain state at my home. My wife never leaves anything unexamined!

January 23, 2012

The best day in the week to marry

Filed under: All in the Family,Astrology, palmistry etc.,Marital Bliss — pramath @ 9:37 AM

I was expressing my curiosity to my astrologer-cum-palmist uncle. “I don’t understand why we Hindus consider Wednesday as the best day of the week to marry.”

He first look around assuring absence of my aunt and then sheepishly said: “I don’t understand why we Hindus consider *any day* of the week a good day to marry!”

October 22, 2011

Sixth sense nonsense

Filed under: Marital Bliss — pramath @ 5:45 AM

If you live in Bangalore, having electric power at any moment is a random phenomenon.
I told my wife today: “Honey, I think nowadays I have developed Sixth sense. I can sense when the power goes off!”
“Do you sense power failure when we are not at home?”
“No.”
“Then it is your sense of hearing! The UPS beeps everytime the power goes off. Stop dreaming my Superman!”

September 6, 2011

Hypertension medicine


“What did the doctor prescribe for your hypertension?”

“Tranquilizer.”

“What?”

“To my wife.”

August 23, 2011

Celebration

Filed under: All in the Family,Marital Bliss — pramath @ 5:53 PM

One of my (male) friends has never celebrated a Friendship day, a Valentine’s day or anniversary of a proposal, engagement or marriage.
He celebrates Independent day with full fervor!

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