Jokes – freshness guaranteed

January 16, 2010

God, man and liking

Filed under: Baldness — pramath @ 5:26 PM

(Saturday, 9 May 2009)

A man was complaining to God: “Oh God! You took away my looks! In my 30’s. I am balding. I look as if I am in my 50’s. Why did you do that?”

God says: “Because you liked it!”

Man asked: “How?”

God replied: “All these days:

You ate what you liked
You drank what you liked
You did what you liked AND
You lost what you liked!”

Advertisements

Buddy

Filed under: Baldness — pramath @ 6:49 AM

(Friday, 30 May 2008)

After my third gym buddy fizzled out at workplace gym, I was kind of frustrated.

I noticed this new joinee with well chiseled body. Assuming he would be using the gym regularly, I asked him to be my gym buddy.

He looked at my head, hesitated for a while and then said: “I don’t have any problems in being your gym buddy. I don’t want to be your barber buddy!”



January 15, 2010

Birds of the same feather

Filed under: Around children,Baldness — pramath @ 6:10 PM

(Sunday, 2 December 2007)

My friend came to see me after a gap of fifteen years. I introduced him to my seven year old.

My seven year old sighed.

“Oh, I see! All of your classmates were bald!”

Training and preparedness

Filed under: Baldness — pramath @ 5:21 PM

(Friday, 21 September 2007)

Our training manager sent me a Video Conferencing request for a training. I said: “I don’t have a convenient time slot for video conferencing.”

“What is the best time slot?”

*Before* five years from today!”

“What?”

“Only then I had hair on my head! Convert this training to a teleconference and we are ready to go!”

What can Yama do?

Filed under: Baldness,Stories and mythology — pramath @ 3:51 PM

(Monday, 4 September 2006)

Background:

According to Vaishnava beliefs, upon death the soul is carried over either by Yama for punishment or by messengers of Vishnu for bliss. It is said that being carried away by Yama is very painful as he takes the soul by pulling hair. Vishnu’s messengers come in an airplane (vimana)and walk the soul to the vimana.

I am  doing what pleases me without worrying about Yama. My soul ought to be taken by Vishnu‘s messengers. Yama can not grab my absent hair!

January 11, 2010

Are bald jokes discriminatory?

Filed under: Baldness — pramath @ 11:10 AM

(Monday, 17 July 2006)

Just now I went through a training from my employer that forbad us from joking based on discrimination – age, religion, gender, disability, sexual preferences, … in the work area.

I am convinced that bald jokes (posted on this very blog) might  be discrimination jokes.

Because balding is loss of body parts usually limited to a few middle aged  man, do they discriminate against – disability, age or gender?

Till we find the answer, I have postponed feeling hurt. Enjoy bald jokes on this blog till then!

January 9, 2010

Baldness and Cupid

Filed under: Baldness,Stories and mythology — pramath @ 2:33 PM

(Tuesday, 3 May 2005)

Long long ago, a man turned 30 and bald.

Girls started treating him with compassion rather than with passion. He was very upset.

He decided to go for a penance to kaamadeva (the god of erotic love). kaama appeared to him. In the characteristic style of gods, he said: “Ask and I shall give it to you!”

“Oh, Kaama! I want my hair back.”

Kaama spoke with his hand on his own receding (but officially not-declared-so) hairline:

“That is tough. It will need you to do toughest things in the world for five years:
1. No alchohol, no caffeine, no tobacco
2. Everyday wake up before sunrise – and no keeping awake after sunset
3. Everyday before you eat or drink anything, take repulsively tasting medicines to improve your liver function

And the toughest of them all:
See your reflection only after the sixth year morning from today.”

The man agreed. Frustrated as he was, he faithfully observed what was suggested by kaama.

On the sixth year first morning, he woke up and looked into the mirror. His hair were back.

Alas! He had turned 35 by then. Hair were all turning gray!

A bald man’s comb

Filed under: Baldness — pramath @ 1:00 PM

(Sunday, 30 January 2005)

I am balding.

One of my colleagues asked: “I found a pocket comb. Does that belong to you?”

I replied: “Not mine unless there is a magnifying glass attached too!”

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: