Jokes – freshness guaranteed

January 11, 2010

Bangalore is an ancient city

Filed under: Bangalore — pramath @ 6:37 AM

(Thursday, 9 March 2006)

Today morning there was a traffic jam at the underbridge between Miller’s and Jaymahal Road.

Reportedly, a Gupta era structure had resurfaced under the bridge.

Archeologists believe it must have been erected when the road was repaired last time.


Next points in IT hatred campaign from HD Devegowda

Filed under: Bangalore — pramath @ 4:02 AM

(Wednesday, 2 November 2005)

The former PM seems to have inexhaustible arsenal against IT industry (called hi-tech industry in the US).

Here is my guess he may peak up as the next allegations:
1. IT is in conspiracy with TN government for Cauvery water. IT keeps hiring from TN. (IT hires from Andaman also – but that fact does not fetch votes)
2. IT consists of merciless, blood-sucking capitalists. Each IT engineer executes billions of innocent instructions per second without a tear!
3. IT contributes to the spread of contagious diseases – they work with bugs and viruses for 15 hours in a day!
4. IT is promoting the population boom. IT has solved BoP (Balance of Payment) issue that his Third Front had created with such a great care. Had 1991 situation continued, half the population would have been starved to death by now!
5. IT is against the poor. Ever since it started, number of the poor is steadily going down.
6. IT promotes terrorism. With increased purchasing power of India, war against India is now impossible. So our neighbors have increased terrorism.
7. IT has harmed Gandhian heritage. The more the automation, the more sad is Mahatma.
8. IT is against Maharashtra. Bangalore has successfully substituted Mumbai as the dream city of Indian youth.
9. IT is against Hassan. International airport / metro / Garuda mall / … should have been built there. (The fact that Hassan is my constituency is unrelated information.)
10. IT is directly responsible for bad road conditions. They are more, with more vehicles, causing more traffic and more wear on roads. Roads in Belgaum are bad in a socialist solidarity with Bangalore. (Infrastructure? What is that capitalist crap?)
11. IT contributes to desolation of the aged and poor. It has caused capital in-flow and brought the interest rate down.
12. IT contributes to the inflation. They can simply buy more! (Remember the glorious days of my prime-ministership when people could not even buy life-saving medicines?)
13. IT has increased economic disparity. How equally we were distributing poverty and helplessness!
14. IT is a potential threat to very national existence! Amichand brought in just a handful of Westerners. IT is pulling crowds of foreigners everyday to Bangalore. (Luckily they stay in Leela Palace, a hotel chain of which I am promoter  – but that should not interest the poor.)
15. IT may make the life harder – they import a lot of hardware.
16. IT is anti-minority and anti-secular. All of IT employees belong to one or other sort of majority somewhere – at least in their families.
17. IT forces regional disparity. Bangalore should strive to reach out to and become Bihar! That is why I am opposing all this infrastructure non-sense.

January 9, 2010

Reporting rash driving

Filed under: Bangalore — pramath @ 3:32 PM

(Friday, 21 October 2005)

A car nearly hit me at a cross road and stopped for the red signal.  Behind the car I saw the sticker: “If you find this vehicle is being driven rash, please call (a cell phone number)”

So I called up the number and reported the car plate number, location and time and the incidence of rash driving.

The man on the phone replied: “Hic! Thanks for putting this to my notice. I might have had a couple of drinks more. I am pulling over and parking. Thanks again. Hic!”

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