Jokes – freshness guaranteed

July 3, 2013

Chitragupta audits me

Filed under: Indian politics and economy,Stories and mythology — pramath @ 3:08 PM

I died last night and went to the office Yama.

As per ever Chitragupta, the accountant of Karma was irritated and was kind of bored.

My turn came.

“Sit down.” He told me with eyes from across eyeglasses. He opened up my page on his laptop and then pushed a button to project his view on a screen.

There was ZERO balance of good karmas!

“Sir, there seems to be something wrong!” I tried to be as meek as possible.

“What’s wrong?”

“Where is all the kindness that I showed my parents, wife, children, neighbors, colleagues, countrymen, strangers, pets, even enemies, mother-in-law, …”

He didn’t let me finish. With a bone dry voice typical to auditors, he replied: “Did not you receive kindness from them?”

“Yes, but…”

“That reception was your income. The kindness you showed to them was income tax. Null balance! You are going back to the birth and death cycle. Next soul please!”

“But that is how even our Income Tax department behaved. Isn’t there some mercy up here?”

Chitragupta took a deep breath. Probably for 500th time in the day he might have answered that question. He said: “Unlike on earth, you didn’t have to fill in the income tax return here, did you?”

I was given a solid push by a Yamadoota.

My woke up from sleep.

Advertisements

June 4, 2013

Almost there

Filed under: Stories and mythology — pramath @ 3:19 AM

“Have you reached to the Christ College?”
“We are almost there. We are at St. Mary’s!”

February 16, 2013

Sleeping with the head in his lap and the wasp

Filed under: Stories and mythology — pramath @ 7:54 AM

Pretty close story to Parashurama and Karna’s…

Once a woman was sleeping keeping her head in her husband’s lap.

Observing the peace the couple was enjoying, Indra thought, “If everyone enjoys such peace, there will be no need of the paradise!”

So he came in the form of a wasp and started boring through the husband’s thigh. The husband had acute pain but neither moved nor spoke.

Indra came out from the other side of the thigh and felt guilty. He appeared in his original form and said: “I have never seen a patneevrata man like you! You bore so much of pain to let your wife have a nap! Ask for a boon!”

The husband hushed: “Shh! Let her sleep please! It is more painful when she is awake!”

January 21, 2013

Physicist’s view of Ramayana

Filed under: All in the Family,Around children,Stories and mythology — pramath @ 7:10 AM

I have told a million times that my elder one is born a physicist.

Recently, his grandmother was talking about Ramayana to him and mentioned that Rama was an aajaana-baahu because His hands reached His knees.

“Ah, that is why daadee!

“What?”

“That is why he broke the bow of Shiva! His hands caused more bending moment than the bow was designed for!”

January 22, 2012

Ramayana derailed by the next generation

Filed under: All in the Family,Around children,Stories and mythology — pramath @ 3:36 PM

This one comes from my younger son recently. My wife was telling him stories of Ramayana.

“… and then Shravana took the pot to the river and started filling in water by sinking it – buD, buD, … King Dasharatha, an avid archer thought he is hearing an animal drinking water. So he shot an arrow and hit Shravana. …”

“He must be a pathetic archer! A good archer should hit the pot and not someone holding it!”

That day we realized that my younger son’s literary senses are out-shined by his reasoning.

Ramayana derailed

Filed under: All in the Family,Around children,Stories and mythology — pramath @ 3:32 PM

This one comes from my childhood. My mother was telling me stories of Ramayana.

“… and then Shravana took the pot to the river and started filling in water by sinking it – buD, buD, … King Dasharatha, an avid archer thought he is hearing an animal drinking water. So he shot an arrow and hit Shravana. …”

“Wait, mom! If an animal is making such a sound, it must be drowning. No animal drinks buD, buD, …!”

That day my parents realized my literary senses are out-shined by my reasoning.

September 1, 2011

My cousin, the atheist cook

Filed under: All in the Family,Stories and mythology — pramath @ 11:49 AM

My cousin turned into an atheist after she cooked her first offering to Lord Ganesh.
It is said that gods conspired against her belief after Ashwini Kumaras had had a trying time helping Lord Ganesh!

They were ready to live with an atheist than with a devotee that forces such food!

March 12, 2011

Vishnu’s vacation dream

Filed under: Stories and mythology,Terroristan and Oilistan — pramath @ 6:31 AM

Q: Where would Vishnu, the manager God of the world, would long to escape for vacation?

A: To Terroristan! That is the only place where Lakshmi, his wife and the Goddess of wealth, does not reside!

January 30, 2011

Vishwamitra, Menaka, Indrasana and ruckus

Filed under: Stories and mythology — pramath @ 8:41 AM

Sage Vishwamitra was mounting penance. Indrasana (the divine throne of Indra, the king of Gods) was shaking. Indra panicked. This ambitious Rishi could do anything – even dethrone Indra! Something had to be done soon.

Indra sent Menaka, the most beautiful of fairy maiden of the paradise – to deviate Vishwamitra from the path to success. How she succeeded coming to the earth is a well-known story.

We are interested in what happened in the paradise. Ruckus! That is what can describe it best!

Surprisingly well-informed journalists of “Swarga Samachar”, “Times of Paradise” and so on with TV cameras were giving Indra hard time.

“Sir, would you please comment whether it was Agni‘s turn with Ms. Menaka?” [You know why they were so well-informed.]

“Yes.”

“Sir, is it not true that Agni has been short-changed for petty gains of more powerful people?”

<no comment>

“Sir, we’ve heard that Agni has gone to Khaandava and is incommunicado?”

<no comment>

“Sir, we have heard that Shachi, the Indrani (Indra’s wife) supports dissenters of Indra tacitly?”

“Is her highness tired of constant drag of attention caused by apsaras (fairy maidens of paradise)?” [Now you also know why Agni was so well-informed.]

… For a moment Indra wished Vishwamitra success in taking away Indrasana!

Then passed by Vishwakarma (the god of engineers).

“May I know what is this chaos about?”

“Sir, Indra has sent Ms. Menaka away from Paradise!”

Vishwakarma took Indra (to the latter’s great relief) inside Indra’s palace. Indra told him whole story – Vishwamitra, Menaka, Indrasana and the ruckus that followed.

Vishwakarma asked him to stand up from Indrasana. Indra, still clueless, stood up.

Vishwakarma pulled out a screw driver and tightened some screws on Indrasana. It stopped shaking.

Alas, it was too late to recall Menaka! The rest we know as ‘abhijnana shaakuntalam”.

July 5, 2010

First millionaire of Lanka

Filed under: Stories and mythology — pramath @ 6:19 AM

Q: Who was the first millionaire of Lanka?

A: Ravan‘s barber!

Next Page »

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: