Jokes – freshness guaranteed

November 25, 2011

Unsolicited calls can be computationally complex

Filed under: Unsolicited calls to K. Chandrasekhar Rao — pramath @ 12:09 PM

“May I talk with K. Chandrashekhar Rao please?”
“This isn’t he. However I can give you a way to get his number.”
(Reluctantly) “How sir?”
“Just keep adding one and dialling till you get the guy. A bit time consuming, but not impossible!”
(Long silence from the caller end and phone hangs up.)

August 5, 2011

The caller may receive a very depressing reply

Filed under: Unsolicited calls to K. Chandrasekhar Rao — pramath @ 12:35 PM

“May I talk to Chandrashekhar Rao please?”
“Speaking!”
“I am speaking on behalf of xyz life insurance. Would you like to have some life insurance?”
“Life? Isn’t it totally lifeless on weekdays?”
(Dark silence on the other side. The caller hangs up.)

You may be able to speak with chimps, after all!

Filed under: Unsolicited calls to K. Chandrasekhar Rao — pramath @ 6:53 AM

“May I talk to K. Chandrasekhar Rao please?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Actually you have called jungles of Cameroon and you are talking to a chimpanzee.”

(Suppressed laughter from the caller.) “May I know your name please, sir?”

“It is (in chimpanzee like sound) vyewivyewivyewivyewi.”

(Now the caller tries to address me but he is too shy to mimic a chimpanzee in front of his colleagues. So he settles for a closer human sound.)

“So Mr. Wow Wow Wow,”

(Cutting him half way) “My name is not Wow Wow Wow. My name is vyewivyewivyewivyewi.  Please say it again!

(Now the caller realizes his mistake. Hangs up the call.)

July 18, 2011

The called party may be a criminal

Filed under: Unsolicited calls to K. Chandrasekhar Rao — pramath @ 4:31 AM

“May I talk to K. Chandrasekhar Rao please?”

“I stole his phone just now.”

“What?”

“Yes, now you may please call the police and let them know about the theft. Thank you!”

<Caller party hangs up>

June 15, 2011

Radiation from mobile / cell phones could be injurious to health

Filed under: Unsolicited calls to K. Chandrasekhar Rao — pramath @ 5:56 AM

“May I talk to K. Chandrasekhar Rao please?”

“This is he!”

“Sir I am calling from xyz insurance company. We have an exciting offer!”

“Go ahead!”

Remember WHO study about potential danger of radiations, I put my cellphone 3 feet away. Unfortunately it is not a video phone – so the other side continues.

I went for a coffee and finished Sudoku.

Upon return, I realized that the other party had hanged up.

May 21, 2011

The receiving party may truly not be interested

Filed under: Unsolicited calls to K. Chandrasekhar Rao — pramath @ 5:19 PM

“May I talk to K. Chandrasekhar Rao please?”

“This is he!”

“Sir, I have an excellent offer for life insurance!”

“I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested. I am not interested…”

(Sometime before the reply ends, there is a sigh from the other end and the caller hangs up.)

March 30, 2011

Investment opportunity

Filed under: Unsolicited calls to K. Chandrasekhar Rao — pramath @ 9:34 AM

“May I talk to Chandrashekhar Rao please?”

“This is he.”

“Sir, I have a great investment opportunity in our new unit linked insurance plan!” [Artificial enthusiasm]

“Oh yes! That is a fantastic opportunity!” [With 10 times more enthusiasm than the caller] “I have heard about it and seen advertisements on TV – and even recorded it for entertainment!”

“Sir, how about investing in them?”

“Invest, my friend, invest! Invest as much as you can!”

“Sir, may I know your full name?”

“What do you want to do with my full name?”

“Well, if you don’t give it to me, how can I start the paper work?”

“I am asking you to invest. I am already invested in insurance! Tell me, how much money do you have in your bank account?”

[Grave silence for a minute. Caller cuts the line.]

January 15, 2010

Unsolicited call may end up with confusion

Filed under: Unsolicited calls to K. Chandrasekhar Rao — pramath @ 5:18 PM

(Wednesday, 12 September 2007)

“May I talk to Chandrashekhar Rao please?”

“This is he.”

“Are you interested in a personal loan, sir?”

“I want to take ten million rupees on the name of Chandrashekhar Rao.”

[Confusion on other side] “Sir, you have to submit a proof that you are Chandrashekhar Rao.”

“Well, you have the proof that I am Chandrashekhar Rao, right?”

[More confusion on other side. Caller hangs up.]

Unsolicited Calls may invite counter-attack!

Filed under: Unsolicited calls to K. Chandrasekhar Rao — pramath @ 3:53 PM

(Monday, 4 September 2006)

“May I talk to Chandrashekhar Rao please?”

“This is he.”

“Sir, are you interested in a personal loan worth rupees ten thousand?”

“Are you interested in forty kilograms of waste newspapers?”

“Sir, what will I do with that? Why are you asking me that question?”

“Just like you make unsolicited calls for the promotion of your business, I receive unsolicited calls for the promotion of my business. Now, do you want the newspapers?”

“No. But …”

“Sir, how about ten kilograms of waste but washed polyethelene bags?”

[Caller hangs up.]

January 11, 2010

Unsolicited calls can distract children from immunization

Filed under: Unsolicited calls to K. Chandrasekhar Rao — pramath @ 7:30 AM

(Tuesday, 9 May 2006)

“May I talk to Chandrashekhar Rao please?”

“He has gone for polio vaccination.”

“When will he return?”

“I don’t know. He is just two months old!”

[Silence from the other side for a while. Then the other side continues] “May I know to whom am I speaking, sir?”

“This is Chandrashekhar Rao’s son.”

[Hard-suppressed laughter from other side and caller hangs up.]

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