Jokes – freshness guaranteed

Introduction to Characters

I: A balding, middle-aged, married man, father of two. Working in Bangalore in Software Industry (in America they call it Hi-tech, in India they call IT). Unlike a typical Indian male, I dislike TV, astrology and cricket.

My wife: Intelligent, organized, loving, at times overweight, mother of my two children.

My children: They change age through the blog. They are four to five years apart. They are born to prove that human beings have similarities with monkeys – and that evolution could be reversible!

The elder has extreme sense of justice. The younger is full of self-confidence.

My father: My wife’s father-in-law, my father-out-law. Quite unlike Indian fathers.Very loving but extremely irreverent to religious beliefs.

My mother: Blind to my wife’s mistakes! If a dispute between my wife and me reaches to her, you can bet, I would be declared at fault.

In Hindu marriages, horoscopes of the bride and groom are matched to assure peaceful married life. By mistake, someone matched her horoscope with my mother’s! As a result, I am singled out against their gang.

Again, quite unlike a typical Hindu marriage.

My grandmother: Befitting mother of a father-out-law. She had decided to live the life with utmost positive attitude. A few years back we lost her – because human bodies usually don’t live longer than a hundred years.

My mother-in-law: Unlike Western counterpart, mothers-in-law in India treat sons-in-law like kings. She is no exception. Sincere to her bone-marrow and more organized than my wife, she is usually a horoscope match with me.

My father-in-law: Respectable, religious figure, who claims to be the best “son-in-law catcher” in the town

My cousin: One of rare cooks in the history of human civilization. If the road to a man’s heart ever passed through his stomach, it is a wonder she could ever marry!

Raner Pillai: Cousin of the famous Indian (mis)inventor with confusingly similar name. Invention runs in his blood (and sometimes spills out)

Mrs. Vashishtha Roy: The only known biological (and perhaps illogical) being that may live longer without oxygen or water than without publicity.

An author. She was awarded the famous Hooker prize. People believe she got the prize was because of by mistake they wrote her address.

If you don’t know her, you are a reactionary, bourgeois, rightist, jingoistic, fanatic, capitalistic pig. By the way, 99.999% of world’s population would satisfy that condition.

Cody: Living in a PG (Paying Guest Accommodation) in JP Nagar, Bangalore, 25-year-old software buff. Loves coding – and girls

Busy Bee: Busy senior of Cody. Too busy to love anything

Savit: My classmate in 1990’s. Due to economic forces, he was forced to study programming. The rest is the history

K. Chandrasekhar Rao: The man who gave my cell number as his and telemarketers love to call on “his” number. Due to jokes about him, he is more famous than me. Son of a gun!

Jam Sahib: Legendary cricketer prince. I could never say what folklore about him was historical. As a declaration, all the folklore about him documented in this blog is baseless

Ravil Shavaskar: Another legendary Indian cricketer. Very famous in 1970’s, very infamous in 1980’s. While Jam Sahib was the reason test cricket came into existence, Ravil Shavaskar was the reason it almost ceased to be played.

Girls adored his game, Rajendra Kumar’s movies etc. You know, losing a match here, a limb there! The default heroes of tragedy – well, you got it!

Ravil got heart-broken when India started winning test matches again – and got a heart attack when was forced to play at ODI speed – and was declared medically insane after he watched his first T20.

Terroristan: A country with the largest export as terrorism and largest GDP contribution is funds from rich countries to fight terrorism. Their democracy is called “Schrodinger’s Democracy” on the line of “Schrodinger’s Cat”

Oilistan: A country rich in oil and an ideological partner of Terroristan



  1. […] } Teenventor n., Champion of school science fair (The person must not be Raner Pillai) Leave a […]

    Pingback by A new word in English « Jokes – freshness guaranteed — February 5, 2010 @ 4:49 AM | Reply

  2. Can’t stop laughing.

    Comment by Chirag — February 5, 2010 @ 2:08 PM | Reply

  3. […] Introduction to Characters January 2010 2 comments 4 […]

    Pingback by 2010 in review « Jokes – freshness guaranteed — January 3, 2011 @ 6:11 AM | Reply

  4. […] Introduction to Characters […]

    Pingback by Page not found « Jokes – freshness guaranteed — March 2, 2011 @ 9:54 AM | Reply

  5. […] commentator who covered Ravil Shavaskar once was jailed in […]

    Pingback by A Cricket Commentator was Jailed during Emergency in 1974 « Jokes – freshness guaranteed — March 2, 2011 @ 9:56 AM | Reply

  6. […] … was Ravil Shavaskar! […]

    Pingback by Biological Wonder of Cricket « Jokes – freshness guaranteed — March 2, 2011 @ 10:02 AM | Reply

  7. […] have heard that Ravil Shavaskar was so great in “keeping the non-striker end safe” that he continued even in opponent […]

    Pingback by De-risking to a limit « Jokes – freshness guaranteed — March 2, 2011 @ 10:05 AM | Reply

  8. […] a reader of this blog, you already know that there is significant contribution of Jam Sahib to – […]

    Pingback by Newton and Jam Sahib’s ton « Jokes – freshness guaranteed — March 2, 2011 @ 10:17 AM | Reply

  9. […] of us say dropping Ravil Shavaskar from international cricket team was a bad […]

    Pingback by Dropping Ravil Shavaskar « Jokes – freshness guaranteed — March 2, 2011 @ 10:38 AM | Reply

  10. […] Why is Mrs. Vashishtha Roy silent on Baba Ramdev’s fast against black […]

    Pingback by Baba Ramdev’s fast against black money and Mrs. Vashishtha Roy « Jokes – freshness guaranteed — June 10, 2011 @ 7:08 AM | Reply

  11. […] Filed under: All in the Family — pramath @ 8:19 AM In the history of cooking, my cousin has a special […]

    Pingback by My cousin’s unique achievement « Jokes – freshness guaranteed — August 15, 2011 @ 8:19 AM | Reply

  12. […] case of my cousin, searching for her groom was painful. She was already over-qualified, a Ph.D. in zoology and a […]

    Pingback by Finding a match for my cousin « Jokes – freshness guaranteed — August 15, 2011 @ 3:16 PM | Reply

  13. […] Filed under: All in the Family — pramath @ 3:31 PM I have already told you about my cousin, the biologist and a cook par none. Now, she is upset about me writing about her cooking and cites […]

    Pingback by How did the bed bugs disappear from the world? « Jokes – freshness guaranteed — August 15, 2011 @ 3:31 PM | Reply

  14. […] — pramath @ 4:29 AM Q: Do you think like in India, fasting until death for a Lok Pal in Terroristan may […]

    Pingback by Fasting until death for Lok Pal in Terroristan « Jokes – freshness guaranteed — August 19, 2011 @ 4:29 AM | Reply

  15. […] palmistry etc.,Marital Bliss — pramath @ 9:37 AM I was expressing my curiosity to my astrologer-cum-palmist uncle. “I don’t understand why we Hindus consider Wednesday as the best day of the week to […]

    Pingback by The best day in the week to marry « Jokes – freshness guaranteed — January 23, 2012 @ 9:37 AM | Reply

  16. […] Worth its salt Filed under: All in the Family — pramath @ 8:26 AM This time around I gathered enough courage to be a guest at a dinner at my cousin‘s. […]

    Pingback by Worth its salt « Jokes – freshness guaranteed — February 28, 2012 @ 8:26 AM | Reply

  17. […] Raner Pillai is back in news after a long time. […]

    Pingback by Raner Pillai’s backdated referral for Nobel Prize « Jokes – freshness guaranteed — January 9, 2013 @ 4:24 AM | Reply

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