Jokes – freshness guaranteed

February 13, 2013

Successfully stopped aging!


Aging Stopped

“No, you Idiot! Aging should be continued for 20 years and then stopped!”

January 28, 2013

Karate kid


The grandmaster from Japan was in town. My kids were in a training seminar by the red belt guru.

The guru taught the class some great techniques of Kubudo. Then asked children to pick a partner of their size for practicing the defense technique.

Everything went good with the elder one. He has a black belt – and found a pairing black belt and the training went smooth.

The younger one has reached to a brown belt. Things went even better with him. His partner child didn’t understand that it was to be practiced turn-by-turn. So he always attacked – and the younger one had fun defending – and practicing – for full two hours. At the end he had almost mastered the technique!

He was all happy!

I asked him: “Did not your partner understand that he should take turns?”

“Doesn’t look like!”

“Did you not ask him?”

“Yes, I asked for his phone number for partnering next time! Where am I going to get someone like him?

Samosas and health


The elder one is now twelve-year-old already taller than me. He has taken up a challenge of going through all the seven levels of the 5Bx program and is turning into a strong body.

The younger one has seen fitness as a family thing ever since he could understand.

We were talking about discipline of taking food and the talk turned to samosas. [Samosas are deep-fried dumplings of tetrahedral shape. They are kept on one of the bases.]

“Do you know our neighbor Mr. x? He eats samosas for snacks almost everyday!” I said.

“That is why he looks like one of those samosas!” The younger one smirked.

“… and by not eating all those samosas, papa, you’ve started looking like an inverted samosa!” The older one turned a samosa on its tip and said.

I felt so good, I had a bad night sleeping 🙂

December 31, 2012

Wisdom tooth


My friend: ” Getting wisdom tooth is such a pain :\ I feel my right side head is swollen!”
‎‎Me: “Getting wisdom is more painful. When one gets wisdom, his swollen head becomes normal.”

October 11, 2012

Universal improvement in strength


Suddenly in my gym, everyone could lift 10% more.

Once the euphoria died, we discovered they had oiled all the machines!

My hypertension


My hypertension = Genes from my mother + Triggers from my mother-in-law

January 2, 2012

Accident prone joke


My friend is very accident prone. Recently he broke his leg and was walking with the help of a stick.

Yesterday I noticed him walking without the stick, albeit with a limp.

“Congratulations! You are back on your feet again!”

“No. I skid yesterday. Luckily I was safe but the stick broke! :-(“

July 26, 2011

Lack of exercise, cardiac trouble, pain and expenses


To avoid pain and exercise that may arise due to a cardiac trouble, I have hired an exercise instructor and am quite regular in the gym.

Man, today the tendons around my ankle are sprained. It is likely to last for a month. It is a bit less painful than my hamstring sprain last month.

The biggest pain is to pay the good instructor. At his hourly rate, he must be a millionaire.

If I take into account all the pain and expense incurred for 30 years, I doubt whether a cardiac trouble would cost or pain so much.

July 18, 2011

The sure way to lose weight for men


A man can lose weight if they walk briskly.

If you are a man who can’t continue the pace, our advice is to go for a walk with your wife.

Before you know, you will try your best to run away from her and she will be chasing.

Brisk walk!

March 6, 2011

Numbers


The elder son needed to talk to his classmate.

With a phone in my hand, I asked him: “What is his number?”

“Two in the right eye and three in the left! ;-)”

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