I was expressing my curiosity to my astrologer-cum-palmist uncle. “I don’t understand why we Hindus consider Wednesday as the best day of the week to marry.”
He first look around assuring absence of my aunt and then sheepishly said: “I don’t understand why we Hindus consider *any day* of the week a good day to marry!”
My astrologer-cum-palmist uncle (Do you remember him?) once told me that my fourth house of happiness (happiness from mother) was VERY strong.
These days my mother chooses to play Carrom in the team opposite to me.
I am now completely convinced.
Returning to work on Monday morning, I saw a bump on my friend’s forehead.
“What happened?”
“You know I was planning to go to that spiritual retreat of that guru?”
“Yes!”
“There he came touching devotees’ foreheads with a bucket of flowers and asking ‘Are you happy, my son?’.”
“Hmm.”
“People replied in ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and then he asked for the reason.”
“Well, where does this bump come in?”
“Have patience! He asked me the same question – ‘Are you happy, my son?’
I replied ‘Yes!’
He asked ‘What makes you happy?’
I replied ‘Because my wife is at home!’
He slammed the bucket on my forehead!”
Once we had our astrologer-cum-palmist uncle (remember?) as our guest.
My grandma at the age of 92, along with all the neighbors, sat there for consultation.
“Why you, mother-in-law?” he asked.
“Ah, just wanted to make somethings clear.”
“What?”
“It looks like there is some confusion up there! It seems Yama might be confusing my wrinkles with my lifeline.” She sent a wave of laughter in the house.
One of my uncles is an astrologer. Once he complained: “You don’t call up regularly!”
I said: “That fine uncle. We do call you up to ask how you are doing every now and then!”
“How do we know how you guys are doing if you call so infrequently?”
“Being an astrologer, you know how we are doing, don’t you?”
Ever since then I can speak only to my aunt over the phone.
(Wednesday, 14 December 2005)
“Do you know xyz godman sprays holy ash coming out of his palm on his devotees?”
“My uncle too had ash coming out of his hand!”
“Was he such a great yogi?”
“No. A chain smoker.”
Jokes - freshness guaranteed 